curiousliving

We all have dreams.

Sometimes, they pan out. We go to college and study amazing things like film and creative writing. We travel the world and see places that we’ve dreamed about our whole lives. We buy a house and fill it with reminders of our dreams, and then proceed to list a hundred reasons why we can’t go after these dreams. Not sure what I mean? Here’s some classic examples:

1. “I can’t afford it”. Why can’t you afford to be happy and spend all day working on things you are passionate about? Is it because that shiny car in the driveway is chewing up your disposable income? Is it because society told you that working in a shitty beige cubicle is the thing to do, because everyone does it? Is it because you’ve maxed out your credit cards spending money on things like food, alcohol, entertainment and throw-away items to distract yourself from the growing resentment you are feeling towards your life?
2. “I’m not good enough”. This one is especially popular for the female population. We can all be guilty of focusing on our shortfalls instead of highlighting our strengths. We are fantastic at talking ourselves out of our dreams. Its scary to stop being a cubicle zombie to pursue something that we really care about, because what if we fail? Or even worse, what if we ditch everything to follow this dream and then decide we don’t want it any more?
3. “I don’t have time”. Yes, you do. I do, we all do. Think about this: Unless someone discovers the secret to immortality, nobody reading this is going to see the next century. We’ll be gone. Our time to live is so short. What do you want to do with that short amount of time? Do you want to be Cubicle Zombie who drinks and eats too much, lazes around and watches re-runs of The Simpsons instead of chasing your dreams?
4. “I don’t know where to start”. This is a legitimate concern, and it is OK to feel this way, as long as you come up with a way of solving this problem before you’re in the nursing home. Dreams can be overwhelming, because they are more than just a statement of “I want to do this”. Dreams are felt as much as thought, and they can be all over the place. The trick is to start, because starting is the hardest part. Baby steps make the journey easier – take a course, draw a mind-map, read a book, write a business plan. Do something. Do anything.
5. “It’s all too hard”. Well, it is if you say so. If you really want to achieve your dreams, stop saying this! Reality is just perception. Overcome this belief and anything is possible.

All too often I speak to people who are letting fear stop them from making the leap to achieving their dreams. Like a friend who is all set up to be a photographer. She has the equipment, the skills and the savvy, but doesnt have the confidence to break out of her 9-5 and pursue her passion full-time. She’s effectively talked herself out of it by thinking of all the reasons her plan won’t work, instead of focusing on all the fabulous reasons it will succeed.

I’m another classic example. When I think of all the distractions I create to avoid thinking about my dreams, it makes me mad. TV. Social outings that I don’t really care to attend. Food. Alcohol. Hours surfing the net aimessly. Did I mention TV? I mean, those Winchester boys are delicious, but I have got to turn Supernatural off and get to work on what really matters – my life. Not some made up show that serves as a distraction from my current work situation.And that means focusing on the things that matter – my writing, my business, my relationship.

So, dear readers, this post is just as much for me as it is for you. Today, I’m committing to a new strategy. No TV. No alcohol. Saying no to social gatherings that I’d just as soon miss. The internets – I love you, but we need some time apart. It’s time to stop talking and start doing.

What about you?

January 18th, 2010 | Category: Creativity, Goals, Lifestyle Design, Uncategorized | Comments (6)

 Sometimes, I feel like I’m walking blindfolded. Blindly knocking into life, reacting instead of acting, muddling and stumbling instead of forging a clear path. I feel like I’ve lost my path, and that scares me. I truly believe that having a purpose in life creates contentment and passion, and right now I feel purposeless.

 These thoughts are something that are never far away for me – I’m constantly thinking What the hell am I doing? And Am I just wasting my time?

Sometimes, I feel like I have too many options, too many decisions, too many choices. Study or work? Babies or writing? Business or job? High powered Career or good enough job? Chicken or pasta? Coffee or tea? Toast or cereal? Travel or saving? Spend or splurge? Be reckless or sensible? White paint or blue paint? Savings or credit?

 Everyone in my life seems really ‘together’. By that I mean, everyone seems like they know what they’re doing. People look like they are living with purpose. They have rewarding jobs, five-year plans and babies on the horizon. They know exactly what they’re going to do in life. Like its an automatic thing to know what to do. And I’m out there trying to figure out what to wear in the morning or what to eat for lunch. These daily things are enough stress for me, let alone looking at the bigger picture or trying to find some purpose.

 The truth is, I’m overwhelmed. Physically, mentally and spiritually. This year has been huge, particularly these past few months where I seem to be stuck on a rollercoaster that doesn’t let up. There have been so many good times, so many not-so-good times, and a couple of really dark moments that have tested me fiercely. I’m not just overwhelmed, I’m exhausted, and I’m aimless, and I feel like all I do is get up, work like a zombie, collapse into a chair, do a mediocre job of keeping house, collapse into bed without doing anything personally rewarding or fun, and despair on Sunday afternoons that my two day door to freedom is being slammed in my face again. I feel like life is wearing me down, my work is crushing me, and that the dreams I hold like balloons in my hand are breaking away, one by one, and floating into oblivion. I feel like the simplicity I crave is nothing more than a myth, and than struggling is all I’m ever going to do. Sometimes I watch other people and I wonder How did your life unfold? How did you get here? How did I get here?

 Life isn’t meant to be easy, I get that. I just feel like I need to slow down, stop stressing, get off the bullet train for a few months. People are constantly reminding me that I’m just starting out, and that’s why it feels like I’m struggling. People remind me that my wages will continue to rise, but my mortgage will stay the same, so life will get easier.The funny thing is, I’m where I want to be. I know this is where I belong – with my favourite person in the world, in our beloved house, with our beautiful menagerie of pets.

 I just need to figure the rest out.

Personal news: I’m getting married!

 Sometimes it takes a tragedy to realise what’s important in life. Jed and I had been together for seven years and I said to him “Maybe we don’t ever need to get married, its just a piece of paper after all”. In August this year Jed’s beautiful aunty Peta passed away after a brave battle with ovarian cancer, leaving a husband, two daughters and a granddaughter in the wake of her demise. I saw the love that her husband had for her, a love that refused to fade even after death, and I said to Jed “Maybe marriage is more than we thought it was. Maybe it’s a way to show the world our love for each other.”. Walking around like zombies after the funeral, we were shell-shocked by our reminder of how short life is. I began to think about my life and what was most important, and Jed was at the top of the list. We had more discussions on the topic of marriage and The Future, and decided that even though we hate planning the details of the future, this is different. A few months ago I would have told you that I didn’t believe in marriage. Now, I really do. To formalise your commitment to someone – what better declaration of love is there?

 In true rebellious fashion, we’re eloping to the sunny shores of Maui for our wedding ceremony and following that with a kick-ass reception / party when we return from our trip. Many people have questioned our decision to make our vows privately but I know it is the right thing for both of us.

I might be overwhelmed and exhausted, but I’m also thrilled. I’m excited.

I’m counting down the days until I’m Jed’s wife

January 13th, 2010 | Category: Uncategorized | Comments (2)