(note: this is the first article in the Reality Series)

Sometimes I have a habit of living in the past.

When life gets difficult, I’m quick to reminisce about “the good times” that I’ve had, and compare them to whatever is happening in my life. Some common thoughts:

“Life was so much easier before I bought this house”

“Being a student is way more fun than working full-time”

“I wish I was still a free spirited traveller with no responsibilities”

“I’d give anything to be back in America”

“I haven’t had a good time since [insert event here]”

You get the picture…

Sometimes it can be really unhealthy, and I know I’m not the only one who does this. But living in your past, being controlled by memories, isn’t just something you do when life gets too hard. It can be the opposite, too. You can do everything to reach that seemingly elusive goal, and still have all the same baggage you had at the beginning. Living in the past happens when we fail to deal with the events that happened before this moment – we can’t fully experience the present because part of us is still stuck there at whatever crappy thing happened.

So how do we deal with our past, and let go? Whether we are longing for something we once had or mourning an event that we wish never happened, we will never be free to experience the present moment until the past has been put to bed (so to speak).

1. Acceptance

Accept what has happened. If the event was negative, forgive yourself or the person at fault. It sounds hard, but once you are ready, it is really pretty easy and so liberating. The minute you give yourself permission to heal, you will feel infinitely better. It is true that good people can do bad things, and bad things can happen to good people.

If you are pining for better times, remember that even if you were to recreate the exact same circumstances now, it would not be the same. For example, I was constantly longing to return to america to recapture that feeling of happiness and freedom I felt while I was travelling. It took me a long time to realise that a) if i went back, it wouldn’t be the same, and b) I can be happy right here, where I am, if only i let go of needless longing for the past and embrace the incredible life I have here in Australia.

2. Gratefulness

What are you grateful for, in this moment? It could be your partner, your family, a blue sky, your health, the air you breathe and the life you are able to experience. Some people find it helpful to write down all the things to be grateful for. Being alive would be at the top of mine – after all, we’re here, aren’t we?

3. Start living right now

Do something just for you, today. By living in the past we are giving up our personal power – by letting go of the past, we are taking that power back. You have the power to do anything - use it. Nourish your body, cherish your soul and begin to realise the dreams which stagnated while you clung to memories. Devote time to discovering who you really are, and who you want to be. Accept that you are okay, just as you are.

Some more resources for helping you on your path.

ZenHabits

5 Inspirations for being in the moment

Re-centering: Finding your way back to the life you were meant to live

The only guide to happiness you’ll ever need

Illuminated Mind

What’s right with your life?

How to use gratitude to re-center yourself 

Smile. life is a miracle

Steve Pavlina

Enjoying the Journey

“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.”

Tags: being present, emotional baggage, emotions, insecurity, living in the past, memories, nostalgia, reality series

This entry was posted on Sunday, November 16th, 2008 at 11:32 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.