Making it Work

Are you struggling to make something work in your life?

It might be your diet, your relationship with your partner or finding time to devote to your passion.

I’ve been through my fair share of setbacks and false starts, and when I find something that works well, I can’t help but feel a little smug

Here are some ways to help make things work:

1. Write down what you really want to do: It could be learning a language, establishing a weekly date night with your beau, or devoting time to setting up your own business. After you’ve written your goals down (and take your time!), cut out any goal or activity you feel is non-essential. For example, does it really matter if your house is spotless by 11am on a saturday morning? And do you really care if you have dinner with your parents once versus twice a week? Does little Johnny REALLY need to go to soccer, karate, piano lessons and painting classes every week? Let the poor kid play some of the time!
2. Identify what is holding you back: It could be unrealistic goals, such as wanting to save half a million dollars up before travelling the world. Reality: It doesn’t cost that much. Save a couple K  (or sell some stuff) and go now! Or perhaps your attitude is holding you back – you really want to go for a job or apply to get into a college course, but you don’t think you’re “good enough”. There is no such thing as not good enough.
3. Eliminate time wasters: Checking email ten times a day? Try reducing that to 1 or 2 times a day. When I did this I realised that I was saving anywhere between ten and forty minutes a day! Guess what? That 10-40 minutes now goes to one of my “real” goals, like building an online business.
4. Get some outside advice: Sometimes we can be too close to a situation, and it’s hard to tell what the next logical step towards our dreams/goals should be. I have seen a life coach before and it really helped to solidify my action plans and my priorities. I worked with a local coach over the phone, but I’ve since heard of some awesome life coaches on the web including Jonathan Mead.
5. Have a “Fend for yourself” meal night a couple of times a week: This alone has saved me many hours during my week, hours that I instead spend working on projects like my novel. Being the primary cook of the household doesn’t mean you need to prepare elaborate dishes every night. This week I’ve eaten eggs on toast, homemade veggie pizza, and 2 minute noodles for dinner on various nights. Even if you have kids, you can teach them to prepare simple dishes like scrambled eggs or pasta bake, that don’t require too much supervision. Since I don’t have any kids, I call it “fend for yourself night”, because thats exactly what it is – I’m not fending for you! (Note: I happen to be blessed with an incredibly understanding partner who doesn’t demand that I cook and clean every day. Some people may not be so lucky. If this sounds like you, try gently pushing the issue first.)
6. Experiment with your body’s peak output times: This is a huuuge part of making things work. What is the point of rising at 4am to work on my novel when I can barely form a thought? I tried this for many months and got nowhere. Similarly, I kept planning to go to the gym after work, but never got around to it. I spend my mornings feeling guilty for not writing anything (other than garbage) and my afternoons feeling guilty for not working out. Then, almost by accident, I swapped the tasks. Turns out I’m really good at exercising in the morning – no brainpower or life-changing thinking required – and I’m also really good at writing at night (my body is exhausted from the day but my mind is still sharp). I’m not spending any more time on gymming and writing than I would have otherwise, but my results speak for themselves.
7. Don’t balance the world on your shoulders: You don’t have to cook a three course meal every night. You don’t need to bake cookies for your loved ones. You don’t need to check your email incessantly. You don’t need to comment on every blog you read. You don’t have to wash the dishes four times a day – once is good (or, if you’re subsisting on sanwiches and noodles, a few days worth of dishes is hardly even noticeable). You don’t have to feel like everything is your responsibility alone. Delegation is an amazing thing, as is elimination.
8. Don’t beat yourself up: Okay, this is the golden tip. So often, we allow ourselves to feel guilty: for not blogging daily, for letting the washing pile build up, for not being a perfect wife/lover/mother/employee. You are human. There will be days when things don’t work. You will be okay.

I’d love to hear your thoughts: how do you “make things work”?

Are you struggling with a particular area in your life right now?