We all have dreams.

Sometimes, they pan out. We go to college and study amazing things like film and creative writing. We travel the world and see places that we’ve dreamed about our whole lives. We buy a house and fill it with reminders of our dreams, and then proceed to list a hundred reasons why we can’t go after these dreams. Not sure what I mean? Here’s some classic examples:

1. “I can’t afford it”. Why can’t you afford to be happy and spend all day working on things you are passionate about? Is it because that shiny car in the driveway is chewing up your disposable income? Is it because society told you that working in a shitty beige cubicle is the thing to do, because everyone does it? Is it because you’ve maxed out your credit cards spending money on things like food, alcohol, entertainment and throw-away items to distract yourself from the growing resentment you are feeling towards your life?
2. “I’m not good enough”. This one is especially popular for the female population. We can all be guilty of focusing on our shortfalls instead of highlighting our strengths. We are fantastic at talking ourselves out of our dreams. Its scary to stop being a cubicle zombie to pursue something that we really care about, because what if we fail? Or even worse, what if we ditch everything to follow this dream and then decide we don’t want it any more?
3. “I don’t have time”. Yes, you do. I do, we all do. Think about this: Unless someone discovers the secret to immortality, nobody reading this is going to see the next century. We’ll be gone. Our time to live is so short. What do you want to do with that short amount of time? Do you want to be Cubicle Zombie who drinks and eats too much, lazes around and watches re-runs of The Simpsons instead of chasing your dreams?
4. “I don’t know where to start”. This is a legitimate concern, and it is OK to feel this way, as long as you come up with a way of solving this problem before you’re in the nursing home. Dreams can be overwhelming, because they are more than just a statement of “I want to do this”. Dreams are felt as much as thought, and they can be all over the place. The trick is to start, because starting is the hardest part. Baby steps make the journey easier – take a course, draw a mind-map, read a book, write a business plan. Do something. Do anything.
5. “It’s all too hard”. Well, it is if you say so. If you really want to achieve your dreams, stop saying this! Reality is just perception. Overcome this belief and anything is possible.

All too often I speak to people who are letting fear stop them from making the leap to achieving their dreams. Like a friend who is all set up to be a photographer. She has the equipment, the skills and the savvy, but doesnt have the confidence to break out of her 9-5 and pursue her passion full-time. She’s effectively talked herself out of it by thinking of all the reasons her plan won’t work, instead of focusing on all the fabulous reasons it will succeed.

I’m another classic example. When I think of all the distractions I create to avoid thinking about my dreams, it makes me mad. TV. Social outings that I don’t really care to attend. Food. Alcohol. Hours surfing the net aimessly. Did I mention TV? I mean, those Winchester boys are delicious, but I have got to turn Supernatural off and get to work on what really matters – my life. Not some made up show that serves as a distraction from my current work situation.And that means focusing on the things that matter – my writing, my business, my relationship.

So, dear readers, this post is just as much for me as it is for you. Today, I’m committing to a new strategy. No TV. No alcohol. Saying no to social gatherings that I’d just as soon miss. The internets – I love you, but we need some time apart. It’s time to stop talking and start doing.

What about you?

Credit: Rachel Gaidzionis

Thoseof you who have been following curiousliving for a while will notice the new theme and layout.

I hope you like it!

It’s all part of my revamped plan for curiousliving and for my life in general. I’ll be sharing more details in the weeks to come, but here’s the short version: I’m madly working on a fiction novel as well as an e-book on lifestyle design and finding happiness.

It’s all part of my new lifestyle design. Which brings me to…

What is lifestyle design?

Lifestyle Design means different things to different people. Like, if I asked Jonathan Mead, he might tell me that lifestyle design is about breaking out of the 9-5 environment and reclaiming my dreams. Or Lea Woodward might define it as having the freedom to run a location independent business and work while travelling the world. Chris Guillebeau would no doubt talk about the art of non-conformity. Zoe Westhof might say lifestyle design is about balancing passion with purpose and living somewhere where the cost of living is low enough to work minimal and flexible hours. Erin Pavlina might say its connecting with your higher self and being authentic to your true desires. Steve Pavlina would probably agree and tell you to do a 30-day trial of whatever it is you’re dreaming about doing.

See what I mean? When I first heard of this “lifestyle design” concept, I was a little wary of it, mostly because it wasn’t easily definable. It’s still hard to explain to some people who dont “get” it. You kind of have to define what it means to you.

Lifestyle design for me is finding the things in life that make me happy and eliminating those that are negative, time-sucking or irrelevant. It’s about living deliberately. It’s about using what I’ve got to get  what I want. It’s about forging my own path instead of walking on the one society has forced on me. It’s about acting instead of reacting.

Most importantly, it’s about living true to my values and designing my life around those values.

If I had to put these ideals into tangible goals, they would be to exert a positive influence on the world through my work, my writing, the way I treat people, and the children I will raise. Also, to live in harmony with the environment as much as possible. To think outside the square. To resist the rat-race. To be financially comfortable. To travel to new places regularly.

I could also break this down further by telling you some specific projects I’m working on to design my ultimate lifestyle. The past year has been huge for me – I’ve immersed myself in learning all about blogging, I’ve been settled in my lovely house for a year, I’ve almost finished my first novel, and I landed a stimulating, low-pressure job that works well with my interests and skills.

It’s quite amazing how quickly things change when you start designing life on your terms. When you stop being a victim in life and go after what is really important. When you stop wanting to be a writer and start writing  

Lifestyle design is hard to show someone. It’s more a philosophy than a title you can attach to yourself. It’s all about living deliberately.

Here’s some thoughts on designing your life:

Dreaming

Picture your dream life. What does it look like? Who is there? What are you doing? And why are you doing it? How does it make you feel? Write down whatever comes to mind. Then think of how you will get there. Don’t let anxieties, pressure to conform or preconcieved notions into your thought process. Just let the ideas flow like water.

Designing

I like to use reverse planning. Think of your destination/goal, and then take a step back to the last action that would be required for you to have achieved that goal. For instance, if you’re planning on going to live in New York for three months, the last step before you were there would be getting on the plane at home. Before that, you’d be packing your bags, and before that, you’d be making a list of things to pack and buying your plane ticket. People often assume achieving goals has an element of “magic” or “luck”. But for the most part, its a logical progression of steps.

Living

Life isn’t about the destination. It’s about the journey. Think about ways you can design your life right now to accommodate your dreams and personal values. You don’t have to make a million bucks before you take that holiday. Your lifestyle design might include a mansion, a location independent business or a fit, toned body. Living your lifestyle design might mean opening a savings account and depositing your first chunk of mansion money. Or registering your business name. Or taking that first trip to the gym. 

Focus

It’s easy to let others suck you into their way of thinking. Before reacting to events that happen, ask yourself – what do you really think? Does this even matter? How does this align with your goals and values?

Take a moment. What does lifestyle design mean to you? No doubt your answer will be different again. Which is kind of the point.

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Hollywood Sign by Horrortaxi

Ever had one of these moments? I have. Many times, actually. It’s usually after I’ve had a massive shake-up in my life or experienced something pretty powerful.

I’ve had really scary ones and really joyful ones.

One of my biggest life-changing moments was the day I visited Hollywood. I know, not the most beautiful place on earth. But as I was wandering around, doing all the normal tourist things, I looked up from the pavement where I’d been trying to fit my palms into Judy Garland’s impressions, and I just felt so wonderful.

Mann’s Chinese theatre and the Kodak theatre were right in front of me. The Hollywood sign I would glimpse a moment later. For a small-town girl with dreams of being a big-shot screenwriter, it was the re-awakening of my muse.

So, I went home and wrote a script, sold it and became hugely successful. Right?

Umm… sadly, no. This is yet another example of having a dream and then letting life get in the way.

I got back to Australia, brimming with confidence and stories. I told everyone who would listen my plan: to finish a screenplay, get back to Hollywood, sell it, maybe even direct it, and live happily ever after in the Californian Hills – just not in the part that burns down every summer

A couple of weeks passed. I still had my massive notebook from my trip, the jumbo ones you buy from borders that weighed about five kilos and contained the pieces that would become my script. I started work on transferring it to my computer. I worked on it every day, then a few times a week. Then once a week, then once a month.

Life just got in the way.

I had racked up a massive credit card bill while I was away (6K, more than I’d spent in my lifetime), and owed thousands more to friends and family who were generous enough to lend me cash before, during and after my travels. I got a casual job and slowly started paying off my debts, then went back to university for a little while. Then I did the biggest time-sucking thing I’ve ever done and bought a house with my boyfriend Jed. That meant I had to work full-time to be able to help pay the mortgage. At the time all I saw was the chance for freedom – from parents and renting. I didn’t think about what else it might cost me…

I don’t think it hit me until about six months in – this is it. Without massive action, this is all life’s ever going to be. Get up, work, get home, eat, zone-out in front of the tv, collapse into bed, and repeat. Occasionally (never often enough) clean the house. Try to have a life on a budget. Try to pretend that everything is just great.

Or do something different!

I tend to over-analyse things sometimes. I don’t know if I was trying to take the “safe” route by buying a house instead of working my arse off on my screenplay and then flying to Hollywood to pitch it. For sure, the thought of standing up in front of producers and executives terrifies me. But, as I realised in another classic “life changing moment”, the idea of NOT doing it terrifies me even more.

I made a big, important decision: this is not all my life is going to be.

Now I’m trying to put that into practice. My boyfriend is so unbelievably supportive, he’s agreed to take a job flying to the mines every week so I can work part-time and make my writing dream possible. It’s an awesome feeling knowing that with a little creative thinking and some planning, anything is possible….

Tell me, what are your dreams? And what’s getting in the way?

How can you start to be everything you want to be?